But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"

I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"xx

"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time
That a little ditty started goin' through my head
I believe it went a little something like this!

D̷̼͈͚͂̏̄͘ͅŐ̶̫̙̲̠H̶̪͘
̶̤͗G̶̟̊̉̈́E̸̡͓͔̚͝Ț̶̡̌̍ ̵͕͍̱͇̅̅'̴̧̡̂Ę̵̢̝͚̾͑M̷̯̞̣̉͛ ̵̟̗̗̣͒Ǫ̴̓̏F̴̡̛̠̞̈̆͆F̴̫̾̀̈́̍͜ ̸̰̭͚̱̓M̴̖͊̑Ḝ̷̺̩͘
̵͎̏G̷̟͚̑̐̇͠Ḙ̸̩̆Ț̷͆̈̓͠ ̸͌͝ͅ'̶͕͌Ę̴̻̫̟͐̈́͗M̴̹̹͙̌́͘ ̶̩͌O̵̰̐͠F̴̧͔̹͆͋̚͝F̶͎̎̀̂͋ ̵̺͐M̷̧̦͔̂E̴̡̱̳̎̃͒͒
̸̢̜͈̎̌ͅO̸̼͚̾Ḩ̴̬̭̼̂̆
̴̭̱̺̺̑Ṉ̵̒́Ơ̶̢̳̬̭,̷̱͚̪̞̑̆̾͝ ̴͕̝̹̻̄̈͝G̶̗͉͝E̴̩̮̱͊͑͛͘T̸̠̠̊̑̂͛ ̷̘̑̓̉'̴̰͒E̷̢̡͙̬̔̆̂M̴̞͓̟̽̌ ̶̪̈́͌O̴̙͔͑̕̕̕F̸̨̺͛̏̂Ḟ̴̮̱̮̈̍,̵̧̛̺͚͘͜͠ ̵̧̈͠͝͝G̵̥̯͚̔̈E̴̖͆͂̌͑T̴̠͐̍͐̃ ̴̜̭͍͍̿̆͝'̸̙̙͕̟̉É̸̘̥͎M̶̡̝͙̏̿͑̑ ̶̼̟̳̤̀̅O̷̱̝̙̬̓̔͝F̷̫͉̩̈́̈F̶̧̫͆
̸̫̿̉̑O̷̹̓Ḩ̷̳͚̻̇,̶̫͍͎͋ ̸̨͒͛͠O̷̧̦̟̚̕H̴̺̥̺͐̈́̀ ̷̰̹̳͇͆̉̔͛Ġ̶̟̓̾Ŏ̷̢̈́̀D̷̺̳̻̓͜,̸̨̛̹͉̩̏̊̎ ̸̪͕̔̀͌O̷̭̲̰̺̿͆H̷͓̱̀̌ ̷̛̭̉̑̇͜G̴̞̖̣̏͘͝Ő̷̭̀D̵̼̭̟̻̉͠
̸͎̉̓͝O̷̠̹̱͈̐̏H̷̦̑̇͋̚,̷̡̪͙̺̓͌̓͠ ̸͕̄̊̕G̸̡̮̩̖̒̀É̴͙̞̥̂̇T̶͖͎̖͌̉ͅ ̴̧̮̖̉̍̋̓'̴̳̃̈́̈́͘Ę̵̆̏̕M̵̦̈́͊ ̵̣̗͍́̇̃͠Ö̶̭̼̱̰͒͂͘F̷̪̰̀͝F̶̠̊͋̍ ̸̙͔̿͋̀̏M̷̹̓͛͊͜Ę̶͈͕̓̽͑̌͜
̵̩̜̇͝Ó̶͇͉͕͊̾̕H̵̠͇̙̏̐,̴̹̯̇̄͒͂ ̸̠̱͍͊̚͝Ơ̴̮̔̋H̸̰̣̪̆ ̸̟̮́̊̌̂G̸̡̨̗̅Ȍ̷͔͎͈͠͝D̶̰̦̭̏̓
̸̭̏̌̉͜͝A̴͓̩͐H̸͙̺͍̘̒,̷̜͛͂͝ ̸̟̊͑͜͠Ą̷̩͔͙̔̅Ą̴̪̼̆̽͠͝H̵̳̽͝,̷̫̘̻́͋ ̷͓͎̀͆͑A̴̬͋̍Ḁ̶̰͙͓̄̇͗̋H̵̦̦̩͐

I ran out into the street with these F̵̨̧̛͓̪̘͎̣̰͕̬͎͚̪̰̫̫͉͌͂̓͗̾̿̔̄̈́̾͗̈́͆̆̆Ľ̶̡̍́̈́͊̽̉̌͗̍̂̉̈́̂͆͘̕Ê̷̛̻͉̱͚̻̒̓̓̑͊̊̿̈́̊͘̚͠͠Ṣ̸̢̡̯̪̱͎̹̯̪̭͍͎̠̰́̌͛̾͒̽̈͆͘H̶̛̼̝̰̳͙̻̗̅̿̅̆͆̑̿̂̀̎́̀͐̋̑-̴̛̻͈̫̱̂̋͌́̔͋̈́̍̈́̽̒̇͑̚̚Ę̴̭̞͚̬̜͙̳̜̰̙̟͋͐͗̄̈́̂̋̿̕͝͝ͅͅA̵̧̤̯͕̞͚̎̄̎̍̑̈́͗̍́̒́̕̚͝͠ͅT̷̨͖̜̲̭̹̼̙͕̈́͆̆̏̃̐̌͂͌̕̕Ī̴̡̩͉͖̙̜̻̅̑̋̈́̃͑N̷̛̪̺̺͖̤̲̼̔͗̅̂͗̊̍̚̚͜͠Ģ̶̗̝̘̝͉̌̆̉̎̀́̄̀́͘̕̕͝͝͝ͅͅ ̴͈͋̀̅͊̊́̂̕Ẇ̵̨̮̞̣̠̭͔̬͙̝̫̟͕̃̈́̇͑̎͒͛̆̐̓̔̚͘͠͝ͅE̸̢̜͈̺͚͍͍̱̦̘̭͚͆́̈́Ȃ̴̲͌̇̄̒̎̎̃̆̽̐̉̓͆̂͠Ş̴͈̼̮̦͚̭̪͉̮́̍͗̇̆̅͛̋̋̑͌̇̍̚͘͠͠E̸̺̙͎̲̤͛͐͑̿͝͠͠L̷̬̫͎̬̫̙̙̝͐̿̾̾͆̌S̴̢͚͉͇͓̖̤̹̦̗̆̂̌͐̉̐̾̋́̍̾̊̚͝ͅ ̵̡͕͔̭̹͔̼̖̥̣͖̜̏́͐́̃̿̍͗̉͆̄̊̌̂̚̚ͅall over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', Runnin', RUNNIN'
Like a constipated wiener dog
And as luck would have it
That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a calligraphy enthusiast
With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face! D: "

THATS WHEN I KNEW IT WAS TRUE LOVE!

We were INSEPARABLE after that!

Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito! <3